Cure your College-Life Crisis

When I began the fall semester of my senior year at this fine institution, I felt sick to my stomach. I thought it was just first-day jitters, but as the weeks dragged ever-slowly on, my condition only worsened. I was constantly tired, apathetic and unmotivated. I frequently experienced shortness of breath, dizziness or nausea. I began missing classes. I never wanted to get out of bed, even when it wasn't 50 degrees in September. Finally, I became concerned enough to go to the doctor. I called my mother to make the appointment for me (I know I'm 22, but my mother is a saint) and explained my symptoms. Fortunately, I saved some money on my doctor's co-pay when my mother promptly diagnosed me herself.

It was much worse than I thought. I didn't have severe

senioritis, oh no, mine was an entirely different animal

— I was having a college-

life crisis.

Diagnosis: College-Life Crisis

Symptoms: Extreme lack of enthusiasm for all things intellectual,

an overwhelming desire to work 9-5 and never look back, irrational nostalgia for the first week of freshman year, recurring nightmares whose subject matter generally revolves around fears of unemployment and occasional shortness of breath, anxiety, mild depression or panic attacks about experiences you fear you've missed out on.

Cure: The College Life Bucket List

I've never really been the "I'll try everything once" type of girl; I tend to be incredibly

picky. However, as the real world creeps in on me with every passing day, I am continuously discovering experiences I wish I'd tried my freshman

year. So now, I'm trying to cram all the aspects of Xavier college life into two and a half short months. Naturally, like any level-headed person who is trying to find an excuse not to do "school," I made a bucket list — a guide to the "best four years of your life"… to be completed by December, 2011.

√ Pull a prank.

From rearranging the furniture in your dorm's common room to stealing every piece of furniture from your neighbor's front porch and putting it on your own, the break from the status quo never fails College-Life Crisisto provide a laugh. When you're sitting in Mathematics and the Creative Imagination and someone is talking about how the furniture in the common room is all messed up and you think to yourself, "haha, that was me"—it's more than gratifying.

√ Attend at least one SAC event.

If you come into college with the mindset of "all I want to do every weekend is party," you can miss out on some valuable, sober bonding time with roommates and friends. SAC offers so many opportunities for a free, quiet evening

in, from late-night snacks to late-night movies. And trust me, when you get old like me, you'll take anything for free.

√ Camp out in 19-degree weather for tickets to the Crosstown Shootout.

It might sound like the most illogical idea of your college

career, and when you are cuddled up under six blankets wearing four pairs of pants and your dad's coveralls, trying to play Candyland through three pairs of gloves, you're going

to wish you were dead. However, two weeks later when Xavier beats UC in a double-overtime nail-biter and you're only four rows back, you'll have never felt so alive.

√ Get to know your local bars.

Unlike other universities, Xavier has only about three watering holes within walking distance of campus. But due to the small amount of options, everyone flocks to them, guaranteeing that you'll see at least five people you didn't plan to in one night. Befriend the bartenders at Dana's, and they might pay for your breakfast at Sugar ‘n' Spice one Sunday (true story). Head to Monty's if you're looking for free popcorn and a place to sit, rather than being packed into the tiny space at Dana's like sardines. Even grab a beer in Andy's Mediterranean at Ryan's Pub. Plus, by choosing to patronize your local bars, you're supporting the places that have given you some of the nights you'll always remember…sort of.

√ Order late night Pleasant Ridge Chili's gravy cheese fries.

You won't be disappointed by this delicious, albeit unorthodox stick-to-your-ribs combo, and the abundance of hungry Xavier students coming from Dana's that populate the place late-night can make for hilarious people-watching. If you haven't been there, go.

√ Get Saturday morning brunch at the Caf.

Despite whatever its name is now (there are so many names that I can't keep up), I will forever call the dining

hall the Caf, and I certainly won't forget the walk of shame to the X-waffle machine during Saturday morning

brunch with my roommates. Everyone still in their clothes from the previous night, shielding their eyes from the Caf's bright lights while making their way to the make-your-own omelette line is definitely an experience I won't forget.

√ Attend an Ethics/Religion and Society lecture.

Sure, the content may go over your head, but when you can bring it up at a Whole Foods Wine Tasting later that week, you'll have just as much class as the 30-somethings who are there because they actually enjoy wine and not because it's five bucks.

√ Volunteer somewhere.

Whether it's tutoring, walking dogs or raking leaves, pick your poison and stick to it. You'll probably mature more from that than you did when you hit puberty.

As December draws closer, I'm beginning to feel better.

I no longer suffer from bouts of nausea. I rarely get panic attacks. I even posted an inspirational sign on my bedroom wall that reads, "get up and go to class, you bum." I'm slowly knocking the items off my bucket list and getting a little less anxious for the real world. Though I'm positive I can feel the wrinkles beginning to form on my face, I know I'm vibrant with the hum of youth, and much is still to come.