Post Classifieds

Like, Seriously?

By Jake Heath
On September 5, 2012

Dear Administration, Student Government Association, and 5-pound wallet donators: Can we please get some covers for bike racks? Dear Administration, Student Government
Association, and 5-pound wallet donators: Can we please get some covers for bike racks? Like, seriously. I added the "like" to show that I'm serious. And I'll add some math to show
you how serious (and/or how nerdy I am). Let's assume that a small rain storm makes riding your bike uncomfortable
and let's say that in a small rain storm, its rains half an inch.
Last year, Cincinnati had a record of 60 inches of rain by the
end of November. It also recorded that in April, the city had its wettest month since 1998 with a little under 14 inches.
To be conservative, let's say that it rains 8-10 inches a month, meaning of the months that it is raining, there are 16-20
days that it is uncomfortable to ride my bike (assuming that it rains in half inch increments). A rough approximation, but that means that half of the month, more or less, it rains on
my bike. Do you know why? There are 25 bikes racks on campus and ONE has a cover. That anomaly resides all the way under the shelter of Buenger Hall. Here a few more numbers. SGA rents out 20 bikes through their BikeXU program.
The Women's Center rents out approximately 30 bikes.
On Monday, a holiday, 25 were on campus (I counted myself), and guess what? It rained. For a relatively slow day, 25
people rode home on a wet seat (possibly 24 because one student is man enough to ride with a grocery bag tied around his bike seat). If we had 25 people riding the shuttle
every day, we wouldn't even need DoubleMap. The shuttle
bus driver doesn't even need to know simple math because he can count the number of shuttle users on two hands.
I guarantee that a bike cover costs much less than a
GPS; I doubt I need the numbers for that one. I'm pretty sure that a bike cover costs much less than a lot of things, actually. How many times do we need to renovate the baseball field? Did you know Segways cost upwards of $5,000, even for police officers? Have you ever seen all 40 dual-panel trading computers in Smith being used at once? Have you ever seen 10? And if we still feel like we need to make it rain (cash-wise), there are plenty of places around campus that have
hit a dry spell: Anyone else surprised that one elliptical
machine in O'Connor hasn't taken down the second floor
yet? Anyone checked the endowment lately? Printers...
that work. Can someone please help Andy's make
some money? It's not that bad. So there is a lot of room for
improvement, but that's not what I'm asking for. In time (hopefully), we'll make our way around this list. All I want is to go home. And when I'm home, I don't want to have to worry if I wet my pants on the way there. Can we just get some freaking
covers? Like, seriously.  


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